Friday, October 3, 2014

"Real" Charles and fantasy-Charles

Who is Charles?

Charles is "my" husband, Charles Smith. He's a high-school Latin teacher who's a little younger than I am. On a September night in 2000, he made me the happiest submissive girl in the world, when I told him I needed someone who was prepared to top me--seriously top me--and he said he thought he could be that person. That night and its long-in-coming, explosive, BDSM aftermath the following March, all of which is memorialized in transformed fashion in the first five books of EXPLORATIONS, was the fulfillment of my erotic life to that point, and the final proof that my shameful desires could form the basis of a loving bond with a wonderful person.

Charles is my husband, Charles Smith. He's an investment-banker who's ten years older than I am. He's the answer to my shameful fantasies, because he knows how much my 18-year-old bottom needs his discipline, and his greatest pleasure is to give that bottom everything it deserves. Despite being powerfully dominant, Charles is also tender, and always wishes to take my own needs into account when he decides how he will take his pleasure as he enjoys my young body.

One way to look at what I'm doing in EXPLORATIONS is of course to say that I'm doing fictional backflips to enjoy my kinks without ethical consequence. I don't think that's wrong, but I think it's incomplete. What I'm doing in EXPLORATIONS is exploring the bounds of my fantasies. The things that turn us on turn us on. As Roger Ebert said, more or less, you can't argue someone out of an erection.

Did Charles command me to make this blog?


Yes. And I told him I didn't want to, and he told me to get my paddle and bring it to him, and then to lay myself down over the arm of the sofa, and lower my panties. . .

So, reader, this is your introduction to EXPLORATIONS: here in the italics, I'm the "real" me; the girl in the Roman type is my avatar, also named Emily Tilton, but aged only 18 (I'm 35, at this point; I was 25 at the time of the events allegorized in EXPLORATIONS). Fantasy Emily is just as nubile as that magic age (18) implies, and just as submissive as I, real Emily, am--maybe more.

It's all in the EXPLORATIONS Omnibus!

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