I'm re-running the stories that serve as deep background for EXPLORATIONS. The story continues from this post, last week.We walked from Grand Central to the Waldorf. I felt like I wasn't walking but rather floating on a cloud of arousal, even though we couldn't really hold hands very much because we were both pulling roller suitcases full of our secrets. (As is mythologized especially in Emily's Dark Gift and Emily's Little Trainer notable contents of mine included my butt-plug and a stash of porn not because I felt like I was going to need to play with myself but because I had in mind precisely the scene you find in Emily's Dark Gift, where I get what I deserve for bringing porn on my "honeymoon." Also, of course, a lot of lingerie, in particular my absolute favorite white lace thong, featured in EXPLORATIONS: Books 1-5, and the blue pajamas featured in Emily's First Caning.)
It was the first time I'd ever checked into a hotel with a man, and that was fun all by itself, if you enjoy full body blushes. It was at that moment, as I was checking in, with Charles a discreet distance behind me in the lobby, that I heard one of my Mom's best friends say "Charles Smith! What the heck are you doing here?" I left the second key at the desk, with instructions to deliver it to Charles, and fled to the room.
In the end, it proved perfect not only in the thrilling shame of potential discovery but in the way it let us both prepare out of sight of one another.
Which is how I ended up in the bathroom in my thong and only my thong, masturbating, unable to wait for my "bridegroom" to ravish me, pretty much as depicted in Emily's Submissive Wedding Night. I had heard him come in, through the bathroom door, and imagined him reading the note I had left on the bed: "You know what to do. xoxo Em." I had taken a little time with the note, because part of me wanted to write "Master, please forgive me for fleeing the lobby. I know I must be punished for it, but I beg you to be gentle with me. Your love-slave, Emily." Then I thought about what would happen if for some reason it was housekeeping who came in, next, and while that thought was itself a little hot, it was mostly not.
And thus I emerged to find him, as specified, in a dressing gown and nothing else.
In the first five books of EXPLORATIONS I weave the next few hours into a completely continuous narrative. In reality, the first spanking and first sex were so intense that we needed to take a break from the D/s for an hour, to order room service (he hid in the bathroom when I answered the door), and to talk about what had just happened, before we could proceed to the events of Emily's Second Submission and Emily's Dark Gift. As I mention in the italics in Emily's Dark Gift, we had to talk through our first anal really extensively before we played that scene, because I was dead-set on it being a ravishment if I could possibly get him to go along.
The coda of A2M depicted there is largely accurate, though--that was our first improvised negotiation, really, and it established a pattern for negotiation on the fly that's served us faithfully ever since. This was also when we chose "Pineapple" as our safeword, but though a safeword is of course a very good thing, it's a blunt instrument. Negotiating the boundaries of arousal so that everybody gets off requires a lot more finesse than saying or not saying "Pineapple," and it's been Charles' and my great good fortune that not only do our fantasies align very nicely but we're also both interested in playing things out experimentally to find what will keep them aligned. Maybe it's not a coincidence that our very first memories of one another are from our third-grade play at Greenwich Country Day.