(See here for an explanation of this series and here for an index to it.)
Last week I promised something in a scriptural vein. . . here's the way I wish Psalm 45 actually went.
Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; *
forget also thine own people, and thy father's house;
so shall the King greatly desire thy beauty: *
for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him.
Heed thou him, and do his bidding *
else he shall chastise thee with a strap of leather.
The princess is all glorious within: *
her clothing is of snowy lace.
She shall be brought unto the King in raiment of needlework: *
the virgins her companions that follow her shall be brought unto thee.
With gladness and rejoicing shall they be brought: *
they shall enter into the King's palace.
The King shall spank them with his open hand: *
yea, with his firm palm shall he spank their shapely bottoms.
All the maidens shall cry out *
as they are brought unto the King that they be disciplined.
And the King shall grow hard as oak: *
Hard as a rod of iron shall he grow, that he may have his bride the princess.
Last of all shall she be brought unto him *
and placed over his strong thighs.
The King lowereth her garment of lace: *
yea, he uncovereth the pale roundnesses of her bottom.
The bride crieth out as her lord chastiseth her in righteousness *
his strap falleth like a burning brand upon her lovely backside.
The King commandeth that his bride be arrayed upon his couch, *
and her virgins place her there, upon her face.
With a rod of iron shalt thou enjoy thy royal bride, o King: *
with the hardness of thy loins shalt thou teach her thy ways.
Instead of thy fathers shall be thy children, *
whom thou mayest make princes in all the earth.
I will make thy name to be remembered in all generations: *
therefore shall the people praise thee for ever and ever.
(Image via www.weddingpartyapp.com.)